Gloria
Dear readers and subscribers,
Thank you for reading my blog posts! Would you please do me the favor of visiting my new Blog–Change the World. (http://www.gloriarose.com)
I would greatly appreciate your feedback on my new site–what you like and/or don’t like. Feel free to email me at the address below. Also, would you consider subscribing via email to the new blog? Just enter your email address in the box at the top right. I will not be adding anything new here.
Your participation and feedback keeps me going and encourages my writing-blogging.
Thank you,
Gloria
gloria@gloriarose.com
You have been shaped by God to see a crying need and join Him in doing something about it. This is your purpose…your reason to be.
But you won’t let yourself see it (or do it) because:
It feels too unsafe to surrender to a higher claim. You choose to remain firmly at the center and in control of your own life;
You feel guilty over past actions. So, you judge yourself as undeserving;
Other people have mistreated you, even abused you. It’s absolutely true—you are a victim. You honor your victimhood because no one else will. To rise up and take the place of healer alongside God feels like betrayal of yourself and what’s been done to you;
The only snippets of love you ever get is when someone rescues you with money, a ride, a room… If you give that up and seek to help others instead, you will lose love;
You are afraid of failing. Afraid of being disappointed—again;
Living uninvolved, at a distance, and needing no one is easier;
You want to stay in the gray world of not straining to change things. It’s what you know.
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© 2011 by Gloria Rose
The Royal Wedding
The Royal Wedding
Prince William & Catherine Middleton
Friday 29 April 2011 at Westminster Abbey
The Bishop of London’s Sermon:
“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.
Many are full of fear for the future of the prospects of our world but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one – this is a joyful day! It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope.
In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future.
William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ.
And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another.
A spiritual life grows as love finds its centre beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life.
It is of course very hard to wean ourselves away from self-centredness. And people can dream of doing such a thing but the hope should be fulfilled it is necessary a solemn decision that, whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love.
You have both made your decision today – “I will” – and by making this new relationship, you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving, and which will lead to a creative future for the human race.
We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril. Human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely a power that has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century. We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge, but rather by an increase of loving wisdom and reverence, for life, for the earth and for one another.
Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom. Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase:
“Whan maistrie [mastery] comth, the God of Love anon,
Beteth his wynges, and farewell, he is gon.”
As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive, we need mutual forgiveness, to thrive.
As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light. This leads to a family life which offers the best conditions in which the next generation can practise and exchange those gifts which can overcome fear and division and incubate the coming world of the Spirit, whose fruits are love and joy and peace.
I pray that all of us present and the many millions watching this ceremony and sharing in your joy today, will do everything in our power to support and uphold you in your new life. And I pray that God will bless you in the way of life that you have chosen, that way which is expressed in the prayer that you have composed together in preparation for this day:
God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.
In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.
Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Loved
Tough times:
- At work the deal I thought was certain unravels.
- My elderly mother’s mental state declines. Now she believes she is in contact with her older sister who died years ago. I wonder: when will she not know who I am anymore?
- I feel lonely in my new town—home for eight months.
- I wonder about my future: how will things evolve? Where will I spend my old age?
- I mull over the problems my adult children face. What should I do? What should I not do?
Desperate.
Jesus, I can’t do this! I cannot live this crazy life anymore! I need you—big time! Oh, I believe in You—we both know that. I know You are keeping me safe. You’ve proved Your trustworthiness over and over. But I need more right now—I need to FEEL You! I need to FEEL LOVED by You! I must—I must!
I stop:
- Trying to control, manage, and manipulate people and outcomes in my thoughts
- Imagining the worst-case scenario as a way to shield myself
- Wishing for other people to complete me and fill my soul
- Worrying about the future—mine and that of my loved ones…
…and quiet my mind.
Still my heart.
Wait.
Then it floats up—a soft, sweet sense of the presence of Jesus and His love.
I sense it–He loves me.
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When I set aside everything else—all the ways I typically occupy my mind that are me-centered—and invite Him,
He is there.
©2011 by Gloria Rose
One Question
Controversies are swirling nosily in Christendom. Younger believers demand older leaders reexamine long-held beliefs and practices. Major television networks, websites and YouTube videos focus the spotlight on the players and their conflicting positions.
I love thinking, logic, studying, intellectualizing, debating—all that. And I believe it’s important. . . necessary.
However, there is a Question occupying my attention these days that goes deeper and higher than my ability to reason.
It’s a Question born out of my experience over the course of my life. The personal intervention, communication, guidance, provision and orchestrations of Jesus have—ever so slowly but surely—bonded me to Him.
I know Him.
The result is that He colors my being and my thinking in my deepest part.
Now, the Question that consumes me is:
How do I live out my love affair with Jesus?
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©2011 by Gloria Rose
I thought all the talk about gratitude was faddish.
Practicing gratitude was more stuff along the lines of “the Universe is a nameless force and we are anonymous creatures within it. But we’ve got this spiritual bent and we must survive, so let’s pursue wisdom and spirituality for their survival benefits. A technique that works is gratitude. Practice it and you’ll live better and longer.”
Ug. I hate modern man-as-the-point spirituality.
Recently I realized I was doing the same thing—with a different twist.
In the daily devotional, Jesus Calling, the Author put words in the mouth of Jesus to teach a point:
A thankful mind-set keeps you in touch with Me. I hate it when My children grumble, casually despising My sovereignty.
Ouch.
That was me. I “grumbled” all the time in my thoughts about how my life wasn’t ideal, why I was afraid and unhappy, how someone—less deserving—had a better life…on and on. I passed it off as me trying to do better, working to improve, and striving to make the life God gave me measure up to more miraculous standards.
Needless to say, my thoughts led me into a dark funk frequently.
“Thanking” my way out of the funk seemed—false. I knew God would see right through me trying some technique to medicate myself.
But the Jesus Calling statement shed a different light. My grumbling thoughts (to “better” myself) were actually:
- Words of judgment about God. Pronuouncing what He had provided as not good enough.
- Me making myself god and saying I could do better.
- Distrusting God.
- Making God out to be some impossible-to-please taskmaster.
- Saying worldly circumstances were apart from, not inhabited by God.
- Concluding my life was bad and I was mad.
More man-as-the-point spirituality.
I was “casually despising” the sovereignty of God. And causing Jesus pain.
Deep ouch.
I began a campaign to change my thinking. I decided to be thankful—always. To express my gratitude continually to God, as a way of bringing Him joy and trusting His orchestrations of my life.
Differences I’ve noticed already:
- I’m lighter, more open. People approach me, talk to me more.
- I can see possibilities around me I couldn’t see before.
- Being less the judge and jury of my life, I’m more willing to try new things.
- I second-guess myself less. I let things be as they are and wait to see what evolves.
I spend less time in dark dissatisfaction. No time, in fact.
Gratitude is key.
Practicing it wholeheartedly brings Jesus down close.
That is everything.
© 2011 by Gloria Rose.
weight
What mountain, big “To Do,” problem, or change (imposed or chosen) do you face right now?
- Regaining health? Losing weight?
- Moving?
- Finding a job?
- Confronting a family member or friend with their disappointing behavior?
- Finding a spouse?
- Closing your business?
- Getting help for your child?
You scan your memory for what worked or didn’t work in the past. You Google resources and consult authorities. You form your strategy for how to move forward.
Face what lies before you this way:
Approach the problem like you are totally and completely loved.
Whether it is a plan to lose weight or to change your vocation, whether it is to find a mate or relinquish someone you loved and trusted, shape your strategy as a person who thinks and acts out of a secure place of knowing they are completely and unconditionally loved.
Because you are.
And any other approach will be flawed.
We are created to be loved and to live in the security of it:
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love, said Jesus. (John 15:9 NIV)
The Lord is righteous in all his ways, and loving toward all He has made, wrote the Psalmist of God. (Psalm 145:17 NIV)
Scripture reveals from front to back that we are loved—completely and unconditionally—by our Creator God.
And we look for that love, seek it, yearn for it all of our days on earth. This IS what we are born for. We must accept this gift from God, wrap our mind around it, and get it deep into the DNA of our soul.
Instead of thinking and acting out of :
- Shame, judgment (toward yourself or another)
- Fear
- Lack, abandonment
- Taking control
- Superiority or inferiority
develop your approach out of a settled knowledge that you are loved—in the way you need. Totally. With a love you can depend on…use…always and forever.
Then act in love.
© 2011 by Gloria Rose
For a short video that brings this concept to life click on Beth Vogt’s blog In Other’s Words.
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Is an “I am loved” strategy different?
What about the outcome?
Your idea
Good ideas alter the power balance in relationships. That is why good ideas are always initially resisted.
- Hugh MacLeod, cartoonist and author of Ignore Everybody: And 39 other keys to creativity
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What do you think?
Have you seen your good idea have this effect?
If so, what did you do ?
God Weeps
“His voice was like thunder now,
You put your characters through hell. You put them through hell. That’s the only way we change.”
Robert McKee, Leader, “Story Seminar”
Quoted by Donald Miller in A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
So true.
We wish for smooth sailing: a life with all the love, time, health and wealth we need to be happy. But the truth is, no one gets off. Everyone has his share of “hell.”
We also know deep down that to have a life worth living—to become great characters—we need conflict…we need trouble. Less than what we’ve been given, perhaps. But it does change us.
The question is, how? How is our hell changing us? Are fear, bitterness, and resignation winning out? Or, are we becoming more courageous, loving, and creative?
It helps immensely to see ourselves as characters in a story. We’ve been placed here at this point in history for a reason. We have a purpose, a part to play.
Thus, we have conflict to overcome.
But it’s all a part of the story. Our battle has meaning. The outcome matters.
In our audience are
God;
People—past, present, and future; and
Forces in the universe.
They watch, wait, wonder, hope…
© 2011 by Gloria Rose
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See also:
A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: How I learned to live a better story by Donald Miller
When God Weeps: Why our sufferings matter to the Almighty by Joni Eareckson Tada and Steve Estes
What I love
One thing I love is communication—writing or speaking words that express what I am observing or learning.
But at 6:00 a.m. every morning you’d never know it.
I sit down at my kitchen table and fire up my MacBook.
Immediately my thoughts are conflicted:
I should use this time to exercise. I haven’t lifted five pounds in a week. I’m getting flabby(er).
My friend is having a hard time right now. What can I do?
I should pray more.
Plan more.
I should look at my bank account. Figure out a budget for the year.
I wonder who’s on Facebook?
I feel hungry.
What shall I wear to work today?
I’m in a battle.
And the enemy has many faces:
Fear – of everything. Fear if I write, fear if I don’t.
Shame – I’m a flawed person and don’t deserve to do what I love.
Self-judgment – my writing isn’t as good as his.
My past – I didn’t write yesterday or the day before. I’m not a real writer.
Insecurity and second-guessing – Do I really want to do this?
Easy Street idealism – Shouldn’t what I love be easy—natural—just flow out of me?
And so on and so on.
Only one thing saves me now: remembering—Love.
Jesus loves me completely and always. Even, and especially, now. Even when my soul is fractured and I want to run in a thousand different directions.
I pause and recall.
Rest in His love.
Accept myself and where I am right now. Even smile at myself.
It’s OK. This is part of the drill. Jesus is here…with me.
I return to writing.
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What about you–what do you love?
Do you resist it?
© 2011 by Gloria Rose
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See also these blog posts:
Excuses, Excuses: Grandma’s got a book on Amazon!
Sometimes we lose our way. We feel flat, empty and without purpose. We don’t care much about anything anymore.
We are caught between two themes:
If only: if only I’d make that decision instead of this one, taken that path, made this choice…things would be different; and
What if? What if I can’t pay rent? What if she leaves? What if I can’t ever find a job? What if my future doesn’t get any better, only worse?
Regretting the past and fearing the future pulls us down. Like a car in mud, we are stuck.
To get going again we must grab ourselves by the figurative nap of the neck and:
1. Believe God is and rules over His creation. He will lead us up, out and forward. This is more than positive thinking or a technique for managing life. It is a letting go of our desire to control our lives and, instead, place ourselves squarely in the hands of our Creator. We decide to move out of self—which has run us into the ground—and move toward God. We transact this in our will—that deepest part of us where we decide who we will be and what we will do. We decide. Then, as best as we can, we begin to direct our attention to God.
2. Return to the present moment. We see God is right here, right now. Today is a gift to be lived one minute at a time. We decide to treasure today’s moments. We decide to acknowledge God in the small blessings around us.
3. Return to our desk, workbench, computer, easel…and be who we are and do what we do. Gently. Small step by small step.
In time, our small faith and small movements bring traction and new life again.
© 2011 by Gloria Rose
In her bestseller, Women, Food and God, Geneen Roth tells us that if compulsive eating is anything, it’s a way we leave ourselves when life gets hard…it’s basically a refusal to be fully alive. Compulsive eating is the simple act of bolting—of leaving ourselves—hundreds of times a day.
…ending the obsession with food is all about the capacity to stay in the present moment. To not leave…[our]selves.
-Geneen Roth
Women, Food and God
I found her insight a perfect illustration of my (sometimes) compulsive eating but even more descriptive of how I—too often—live. I bolt out of myself to food but also to:
Projecting into the future (worry, “what I will do if/when”)
Thoughts about the past (regrets)
Conniving to manipulate or control a situation or person
Movies (popping in a DVD with Keanu Reeves can take me right out of my humdrum life into a dream world…)
Magazines: fashion, movie star rags, magazines with stories of other people’s more exciting or bizarre lives
Internet surfing
Etc.
Basically finding a way—any way—to not feel what I feel…not face what is there.
A common bolt among my friends is wine. Like food, wine is not a bad thing in itself. But their excitement about it and the way they must have it tells me wine is more than a glass of liquid. They need it to numb something, to take them somewhere…
These days there’s so much to divert us.
We can be alive and breathing…
But not home…
Ever.
© 2011 by Gloria Rose
To have a life worth living, we need to be free. Free to feel our passions, to follow our dreams, to pursue something new…and when we are honest with ourselves, we know that our freedom depends on…
Us.
Yes, we need to set ourselves free.
Pastor Sam Downing told his congregation the story of a rehabilitated whale released back into the ocean. The caretakers at the aquarium felt great satisfaction as they watched the whale swim away. However, the next day the whale reappeared, circling the aquarium, as if asking to be let back in.
The rigors of being free were not worth losing the safety of a predictable environment, complete with regular food.
Idols create delusional fields, said Sam.
What are your “idols?”
© 2011 by Gloria Rose
A Bloomberg.com headline: Men’s Lost Decade: How Smoke and Cholesterol Shorten Life Span. Quoting a study published in the British Medical Journal, the article reported that men who had high blood pressure, high cholesterol and smoked in middle age died about 10 years earlier than other men.
Let’s be honest. We have access to tons of medical information. We know what makes us live longer and what causes us to die young.
Why is it that we don’t heed the information and warnings?
My take is that if we do not live our true life—our heart-felt purpose—we find fewer and fewer reasons to take care of our health. If we’re not living our life, we’re living a constructed, fake one, one that is a composite of the perceived expectations of others and being a “victim” of circumstances.
Why sustain a false life?
We must do the heart-work necessary to be in touch with our calling and make the hard choices necessary to answer it.
In his powerful little book, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles, best-selling author David Pressfield recounts his own struggle to live out his calling. He labels the force that conspires against us Resistance:
How many of us have become drunks and drug addicts, developed tumors and neuroses, succumbed to painkillers, gossip, and compulsive cell-phone use, simply because we don’t do that thing that our hearts, our inner genius, is calling us to? Resistance defeats us. If tomorrow morning by some stroke of magic every dazed and benighted soul woke up with the power to take the first step toward pursuing his or her dreams, every shrink in the directory would be out of business. Prisons would stand empty. The alcohol and tobacco industries would collapse, along with the junk food, cosmetic surgery, and infotainment businesses, not to mention pharmaceutical companies, hospitals and the medical profession from top to bottom. Domestic abuse would become extinct, as would addiction, obesity, migraine headaches, road rage, and dandruff.
What shall we do?
1) Stop. Begin to unhinge from activities and pursuits that are false to the real you.
2) Listen to your deep heart and clarify your calling.
3) Take a step in that direction and don’t stop.
Created
At first we think being ourselves is:
Roles: wife, boyfriend, employee, grandparent, vice-president, therapist, minister
Responsibilities: caregiver, provider, teacher, guide, student, bill-payer
Status: first-ever, highest climber of, prettiest, CEO, living on the same street as
Possessions: the car we drive, the clothes we wear, the art we collect
Achievements & experiences: places we’ve been, positions we attain, degrees we acquire
But those aren’t quite it.
Who we were created to be is:
What we care about and are called to in the depths of our heart.
This calling was woven into our being at creation and is being developed by God via our life experiences—easy, good, hard, painful…
This fundamental call is our deepest desire and who we truly are.
The Door to being who we were created to be is:
Moment-by-moment attachment to (relying on, relating to, listening for and following) Jesus in our hearts.
How our call and true self is manifested is:
Our being in touch with the love of God for us, His love for others, and acting on our desires that are related to this love.
© 2011 by Gloria Rose
