Experiencing the love of Jesus–for me

Loved

Tough times:

• At work the deal I thought was certain unravels.
• My elderly mother’s mental state declines. Now she believes she is in contact with her older sister who died years ago. I wonder: when will she not know who I am anymore?
• I feel lonely in my new town—home for eight months.
• I wonder about my future: how will things evolve? Where will I spend my old age?
• I mull over the problems my adult children face. What should I do? What should I not do?

Desperate.

Jesus, I can’t do this!  I cannot live this crazy life anymore!  I need you—big time! Oh, I believe in You—we both know that. I know You are keeping me safe. You’ve proved Your  trustworthiness over and over. But I need more right now—I need to FEEL You!  I need to FEEL LOVED by You!  I must—I must!

I stop:

•             Trying to control, manage, and manipulate people and outcomes in my thoughts
•             Imagining the worst-case scenario as a way to shield myself
•             Wishing for other people to complete me and fill my soul
•             Worrying about the future—mine and that of my loved ones…

…and quiet my mind.

Still my heart.

Wait.

Then it floats up—a soft, sweet sense of the presence of Jesus and His love.

I sense it–He loves me.

- – - – - -

When I set aside everything else—all the ways I typically occupy my mind that are me-centered—and invite Him,

He is there.

©2011 by Gloria Rose

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